Love Square
by sillybillyxo
Summary: ♡Lexzie & Maddison♡. Everyone at SGH thinks best friends Addison & Alex are a couple, but really, they have bonded over their seemingly unrequited love two other hot doctors. But what will happen when Izzie and Mark figure out a plan to get them back?
1. I've Been Tired For Days and Days

**Title:** Love Square  
**Author:** sillybillyxo  
**Pairings:** MADDISEXIE! (My favorite love quad)

Lexzie – angst, one-sided, eventual relationship

Maddison – angst, one-sided, eventual relationship

Addex – friendship, implied relationship

Markzie – friendship, implied relationship  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Spoilers:** Up to 3.10. This story is AU, set 3-4 months in the future

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Grey's Anatomy, nor am I making any money from the writing of this fic.

**Summary:** Everyone at Seattle Grace hospital thinks best friends Addison and Alex are a couple, when really, the two have bonded over their seemingly-unrequited love for other people. But what will happen when Izzie and Mark figure out a plan to get them back?

**Author's Notes:**

Okay so, I have been thinking about this fic for a really long time now. Just know, I have every single tiny detail of it all planned out, and then even a sequel for it planned out as well, haha, so it will defiantly be ongoing. It will be centered around my two favorite couples, Lexzie and Maddison, with some fun, fluff, and angst all thrown in. This is basically what my ideal scenario for these couples would play out as.

Oh and also, I am pretty much obsessed with Tegan & Sara right now. So every chapter title will either be one of their songs, or some of their lyrics.

* * *

**Chapter One:** I've Been Tired For Days & Days

* * *

No sooner than Alex Karev had shut the door of his apartment behind him, he felt the familiar vibration of his phone signaling a text message against his leg.

Reaching up, he flicked on the bank of lights beside him, illuminating the white, two-bedroom apartment he called home. Actually, he never called his apartment "home". Never having had a real "home", Alex wasn't exactly sure what a home was. He was sure, however, that it wasn't the plain, lonely, rented-out apartment room he was currently standing in. It was just the placed he lived, really.

Throwing his keys onto the table by the door, he fished into his jeans pocket to retrieve his Sidekick. Glancing at the screen, the edges of his lips tugged upwards into a smile. It was a text message from Addison.

"_Get your gorgeous ass over here, stat. _

_ I have something to show you!!_

_ -Ad" _

Alex exhaled a sigh of relief as he shoved his Sidekick back into his pocket. Addison was exactly what he needed after a day like this. All day, Seattle Grace had been dealing with the effects of a massive 6-car pileup. With massive head traumas, broken limbs, and what seemed like a never-ending need for sutures, Alex literally had not stopped working. He hadn't even seen Addie at all, although he suspected she had experienced a similar workload. Still, if he wasn't assigned to her service, they at least usually took lunch together.

But of course, to make the day even worse, Alex had to have been assigned to fucking Sheperd all day, and it was seriously starting to take every ounce of Alex's will-power not to punch the asshole right in his "McDreamy" face.

Just as soon as he'd deposited them, Alex snatched his keys up from off the table he had thrown them on, and headed out of his apartment on his way to Addison's hotel.

* * *

After arriving at the Archduke, Alex rapped lightly on the all-too familiar door of room 2214. Immediately, it flew open, the pretty, red head of Addison Montgomery appearing in its place.

"Ah, I knew you couldn't stay away," Addison greeted him, a goofy smile plastered across her stunning features. She grabbed Alex's arm, tugging him into the room excitedly.

Alex clicked the door shut behind him, sealing them both inside the luxurious red-and-gold themed hotel room Addison had been living in for the past few months. He really couldn't blame her for wanting to live at the Archduke. Hell, if he were wealthy enough to afford a place like this, he'd live here too. But still, he couldn't help but feel uneasy that Addison had been living in a hotel for so long, and he had been trying to convince her to move in with him or at least get a roommate. He couldn't help but worry about her staying here all alone. But Alex had always been protective of the women in his life; it was probably a result of his childhood.

"Of course I couldn't," Alex replied. "I didn't see you at all today."

Addison cast him an empathetic glance. "I know. It was a very long day. But luckily for _you_," she smiled, "I happen to have the perfect cure for very long days, right here."

Alex returned her smile. "You do?" Addison grinned again and gestured towards the TV in front of them. Alex stared at it for a minute, focusing on the images flickering across the screen. Was that…

"Porn?"

"Nope, even better."

Alex again squinted at the TV. A fake blonde chick with very long dark roots and impossibly huge boobs was grinding against a cheesy dark-haired guy with a forest of chest hair. He winced upon hearing her nasal-y moaning about how big the guy was. This shit wasn't even close to believable.

"Uh, bad porn?" Alex guessed. "Since when do you watch porn?"

"_Free_ bad porn!" Addison corrected giddily. "Can you believe it? I come home today, turn on my TV, and the hotel is accidentally broadcasting porn for _free_. It's a sign."

"How is it a sign?"

Addison paused, seeming to think on that for a moment. "It just is. So, wanna watch with me?"

Alex smirked. He loved seeing this side of Addison, the one that most people never got to see. The fun, happy, and sometimes silly Addison. The one that was over that douchebag Shepard, and who actually seemed capable of being happy. "Have you ever known me to turn down watching porn in bed with a hot woman?"

"That's what I thought." Addison smiled, hopping onto the end of her beautiful king-sized bed. She stretched out on her tummy, feet reaching up towards the pillows and her head propped up against her elbows. "Oh, this is so fun. It's exactly like that episode of _Friends_!"

Alex remained standing, looking at her quizzically, and Addison elaborated for him. "You know? The one where Joey and Chandler find the free porn on their TV, and then they watch it for like, three days straight, and they're so sick of it, but they just keep watching because they're scared if they turn the TV off, it won't come back?"

Alex still just looked at her, even more confused. "What the fuck kind of a name is Chandler?" he asked.

Addison's smile faltered a bit. "Please don't tell me you don't watch _Friends_," she said, completely ignoring his question.

"I'm a guy!" Alex said, as if it were enough of an explanation.

"So?"

"Guys don't watch _Friends_, Addison."

"Everybody watches _Friends_!" she protested. "Derek's a guy, and we used to watch _Friends_ together all the time," Addie replied smugly.

Alex began to snigger. "Reason #338 to hate Derek…" And at this, Addison smiled too.

"Guess what else I have?" she said, patting the space on the edge of the bed beside her.

Alex kicked off his shoes and moved to join her on the bed. "Oh, there's more now, is there?"

"I have pizza," Addison said, grabbing a slice from the box in front of her with one hand, "and, I have beer!"

Alex grinned, reaching down to grab a Corona. "This?" he said, popping off the cap, "this is why we're friends." Alex cast a smile towards her. "Well, this and that fact that you love me."

"_Maaaaybe_," Addison teased.

Alex twisted his face into an expression of mock-hurt and stared at her with big puppy-dog eyes. "Maybe?"

"Just kidding. I love you," Addison smiled at him. "So turn that frown upside down, Karev," she said, tapping him lightly on the nose.

"And speaking of how much I love you," Addison continued, pointing at Alex with the pizza slice in her hand, "I didn't see you at all today. Quite depressing if you ask me."

"Yeah, I know," Alex nodded. "I didn't even have time for lunch. The ER was crazy."

"Tell me about it. I had two pregnant mothers in the crash. Plus I had Grey as my intern," Addison said, making a face. There was just something about working with your ex-husband's girlfriend that had the power to make a bad day even worse.

"Aw Addie, she's not that bad."

"True. It's more her boyfriend I have a problem with."

"Speaking of Shepard," Alex started, taking a long swig from his beer, "I really hate that bastard."

Addison laughed. "Oh? Did he give you a reason #339 today?"

"Yeah. I had to work with him all day in Neuro. It was shit. The guy's wrist deep in human brain, yet he still finds the time to piss me off."

"Thank you for the lovely image," Addison grimaced. "What did he do that was so terrible today? Or was it just his bastard-like presence? Usually that's enough for me."

"All day, he just kept asking about you." Alex grimaced. "He was all 'How is _Addie_ doing?' and 'Is _Addie_ okay?' every five minutes. Fucking gets on my nerves."

"What'd you say?" Addison asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Well, the first couple of times I just didn't answer him, or told him it wasn't any of his business, because that was the magic of divorce, after all. But-" Alex hesitated, thinking of the best way to proceed. It had just occurred to him now that Addison was probably going to get pissed off at what he was about to say, and he kind of regretted even opening his mouth in the first place.

"But?" Addison really didn't like the sound of that.

"Well, he kept asking, and I kept getting more pissed off, so after awhile, I told him: 'Addison's fine, just tired from all the mind-blowing sex we had last night. Don't worry though, I'm sure she thought it was worth it since she told me I was the _best_ she'd ever had'." Alex smirked at the memory, recalling the look of absolute shock on Derek's face. Asshole.

Addison's mouth dropped open a little in horror. "Alex!" she exclaimed, slapping him lightly on the arm. "Why did you have to go and do that? As if there aren't enough rumors about us floating around the hospital already."

"The guy's a prick, Addison. He acts like he's top shit, and thinks that you're sitting here, all devastated because you lost him. Well he can go fuck himself," Alex seethed, his fists clenching a little. "Plus, the look on his face? _So_ worth it. You would have thought so too if you were there."

Addison sensed the irritation in Alex's voice, and calmed her own tone down a little, not wanting to agitate him even further. "I appreciate you trying to stick up for me Alex, I am just worried that everyone will think were sleeping together," she said smoothly.

Alex rolled his eyes. "Addie, please. Everyone _already_ thinks were sleeping together."

His gaze shifted from Addison back to the on-screen sex in front of him. "Say, why aren't we sleeping together?"

Addison raised an eyebrow at him. "Seriously?"

Alex laughed, one of his classic smirks stretching across his handsome face. "Your hot, I'm hot, plus you just told me you loved me."

"May I remind you how many times we have had this conversation before?"

Alex glanced over at Addison, beautiful waves of red hair crashing down and swirling around her perfect face. She really was McHot. Alex almost questioned his own sexuality for not having an overwhelming urge to kiss her right then and there. But surprisingly, he didn't. "Sorry Addie, sometimes I just need to be reminded, you know? It's not exactly familiar territory for me, this whole friends-with-a-chick thing. I never thought I'd be lying in bed, watching _porn_, with a girl this hot and not undressing her."

"Technically, were _on_ the bed."

Alex laughed. "Still."

"Well, I can't say I don't know how you feel. I mean, the only guy friend I've ever had before was Mark, and look how that turned out." Addison paused to collect her thoughts, reaching up to rake a few fingers through her gorgeous red curls. "Okay, sappy time: your friendship means a lot to me, and I would never want to do anything to jeopardize that."

Alex completely understood. He needed Addison even more than she needed him. She was his rock; his best friend. Of course, she didn't know that, so it wasn't going to prevent him from teasing her about it. "Aw, aren't you cute."

Addison blushed. "Oh shush, Karev."

"I care about you too, 'buddy'," Alex smiled. "Plus, there is the fact that whenever I even come close to _thinking_ about making a move on you, I remember how exactly you are like Ashley in every single way."

Addison pointed her almost-eaten pizza towards Alex's face again. "I want to meet her, by the way."

"Ohhhh no. No way! You are never, and I repeat, _never_, going to meet Ashley. It would be too weird." Alex vigorously shook his head, trying to rid himself of the mental image of Addison and his sister Ashley meeting each other. It was creepy how similar they really were. Ashley really was Addison, only blonde. Even their faces bore a striking resemblance. "You two would fall in love with each other. You'd probably get matching t-shirts that say 'I'm with my best friend' and have each others pictures on them, and wear them to the mall together or something."

Addison laughed. "You could really picture _me_ doing that? Seriously?"

"With Ashley, yes," Alex nodded seriously. "No, you are never meeting her Addie."

"Okay, okay!" Addison giggled at Alex's anger. "No meeting Ashley."

"So," Addison continued. "If me reminding you of your sister wasn't enough, there's also the fact that you're hopelessly and madly in love with Dr. Stevens."

"And the fact that your in love with Sloane," Alex pointed out, trying to direct the conversation away from himself.

"I do _not_ love Mark."

"Uh huh, sure you don't."

"I don't," Addison said, eyebrow pointedly raised in seriousness. "But you love Izzie."

Alex avoided Addison's gaze and tried to shake thoughts of Izzie from his mind. Thinking about her hurt, although that didn't stop him from doing it all the time. "True," he finally answered. "I already knew all that, I just needed to hear it again."

Alex tried to distract himself by focusing on the television in front of him again. The irritating fake-blonde was now pinned up against the wall, moaning loudly as chest hair guy thrust into her. "I am seriously horny right now," he groaned, dropping his face behind his hands.

"That's probably because of all the porn," Addison pointed out.

"True, but my beast is in serious need of feeding."

Addison looked confused. "Um, beast? Feeding? Elaborate please."

Alex laughed. "Nevermind. It's an Izzie thing." Alex mentally slapped himself as he spotted Addison rolling her eyes at him. He needed to stop thinking about Izzie. Now.

"Seriously though, I need sex," Alex repeated.

"Well, how long has it been?"

"Uh…"Alex tried to think. "Hmm… 3, no 4 days?" he started counting out on his fingers. "I think 4 days."

Addison's jaw dropped open a little in horror. "Four_ days_? Slut!"

"Hey," Alex pouted. "I take offense to that."

"Seriously," Addison continued. "You're complaining about four days? Seriously? You, are a slut. Do you even remember her name?"

"Of course I do!"

"Oh yeah?" Addison challenged. "What was it?"

Alex paused to think for a minute, gaining himself yet another eye roll from Addison. "Hey, I'm thinking! Okay, it was Amy. Or maybe Amanda…?"

"See? Total slut," Addison laughed. "I bet you remember her hair colour though. Brown."

Alex didn't answer. It was true that all the random girls he had been picking up from Joe's lately had been brunettes. Hot red heads, like Addison, were pretty rare, and blondes, well… he just couldn't do blondes anymore. They just reminded him too much of Izzie. Alex sighed… Izzie.

Noticing his sudden change in demeanor, Addison quickly changed the topic. "You think 4 days is bad? Try 4 months."

Alex immediately darted his eyes back up to Addison, completely shaken of his thoughts. "Four _months_, Addison? Seriously? You're like… a nun or something!"

Addison laughed. "I think I might be far from sisterhood."

"You know, you'd look hot in one of those little black hoods. Maybe you should be a nun."

"Oh yes, and shall I lead with my adultery on my nun application?"

Alex looked at Addison, shocked. "Wait, you have to fill out an application to be a nun?"

Addison just stared at Alex in disbelief, smacking him a bit on the side of his head.

"But wow. Four months," Alex continued, ignoring her stare. "That's a hell of a long time." He paused. "No wonder you want to watch this crappy porn."

Addison laughed as both their gazes were averted back to the TV. After a few minutes of watching the absolute cheesiest sex ever, Alex spoke.

"This is really bad. Like, really, really bad. Like, 3-dollar-hooker bad."

Addison laughed. "True, it really is unbearable. Don't you just want to go in there and show them how it's done?"

Alex rolled over on top of Addison, pinning her down and pressing his weight against her. Lying on top of her, their faces were inches away. "Oh, that can be arranged," he said, hot smirk placed on his gorgeous mouth.

"Didn't we _just_ have this discussion? Off. Now." With one fluid motion, Addison placed her palms against Alex's chest and pushed him, watching as he rolled over onto his back on the bed. But instead of moving to get up, Alex just remained watching the television upside down.

"It actually looks better this way, you know. Like art," Alex reflected.

"Really?" Addison joined Alex, rolling over on her back into the space beside him, head dangling over the edge of the bed, in order to see for herself. "Your right," she decided.

The two remained upside down for a few minutes, watching the TV in silence. "Ow," Addison finally said after a few minutes, clutching her head as she rolled back up right. "Head rush."

Alex sat back up as well and the two continued to watch. The blonde on the television, during a failed attempt to be sexy, muttered something involving the word 'cock', and Addison made a face.

"Ew."

"What?"

"Cock."

"Cock?"

"I hate that word. Cock. Ew, it's so vulgar."

"Cock," Alex said again, pronouncing it carefully. "It's not that bad."

"You would never hear the word _cock_ in a romance novel. See, this is exactly why I don't watch porn. I like romance novels. They don't use words like cock. In those books, they have such nicer words for the male genetalia. Like 'manhood', and 'arousal', and 'silky wand of pleasure'."

Alex laughed. "Silky wand of pleasure?"

"Okay, so I just made that one up. But still, doesn't it just sound so much sexier? Plus, you can read them in public and no one ever knows its porn. It's a genius idea, if you think about it." Addison looked over at Alex, expecting him to deliver smart remark, but instead he was just lying on the bed, head resting on top of his arms, staring sadly at the TV.

"Izzie likes romance novels," Alex said sullenly. Fuck, why did he always let his guard down around Addie? Lately, he had been making himself more vulnerable around her than he had ever been in his entire life. Damn Izzie was making him go soft.

Instead of telling him how pathetic he was, as she probably should have, Addison just mimicked his position, lowering herself down onto her arms and concentrating on the flickering images on the screen in front of her.

"Mark likes porn," she said sadly.

At that, Alex snapped out of his melancholy state, and he looked over at Addison. He broke into a wide grin and tried his best to stifle a few laughs, but the entire pathetic situation was just too hilarious. Addison shot him a confused look as he began to laugh uproariously. She began to laugh too, despite herself. "Stop laughing at me," she whined, throwing a pillow at him. He began to calm down a bit, clenching his side as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"So, you love Sloan," Alex finally said.

"I _so_ do not love Mark."

"Oh really?" Alex challenged. "Then why did you just _happen _to talk about him right after I talked about Izzie?"

Addison just said nothing.

"See, you can't sneak anything by me. I know these things," Alex grinned smugly.

"Oh, you do, do you?" Addison said, eyebrow raised.

"C'mon Addie, it's pretty obvious. What isn't obvious is why you don't just admit it. Atleast the guy you love actually loves you back…" he trailed off.

Addison sighed and hid her face behind her hands. "Becauseeee… "

"Because?"

"Because," she said with finality.

"Okay, well, that really clears things up. Thanks," Alex teased.

Addison raised her head back up a bit, peeking her eyes over the tips of her fingers. She let silence settle between them for a few moments before speaking. "I don't fail, Alex."

Alex looked up, searching Addison's face. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm a winner. I don't fail at things, or atleast I never used to. I've always tried, succeeded, and been the best. I'm a perfectionist, and I can't handle when things go wrong in my life. When things… fail."

Alex nodded to show he was listening, encouraging her to go on.

"When I got divorced, I failed. I failed at trying to make my marriage work. And Mark, well he represents that failure to me. As much as I want to be with him, he constantly reminds me of the fact that I couldn't make my marriage work. The fact that I was weak and cheated on my husband."

"So, I might love Mark, but I _can't_ love Mark," she concluded.

Alex scooted closer to her and threw an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a half hug. "Addie, the end of your marriage wasn't your fault, you know that. He wasn't there for you. He is the one who failed, not you."

Addison leaned into Alex, resting her head on his shoulder. "I know that Alex, I do. I just wish I could believe it." Alex drew her a bit closer, not really sure what to say. He hated seeing Addie like this, doubting herself. After a few seconds, she pulled away. She bit the edge of her lip and shielded her face from him by glancing at the clock in the corner of the room.

"It's 1:00," Addison groaned. "We have to be up so early tomorrow."

"Are you sure you're ready to part with the porn?" Alex teased.

Addison responded by picking the remote up and flicking off the TV, cheesy blonde and chest hair man disappearing from their vision in a flash. "It was actually starting to give me a headache," she said.

She stifled a yawn as she stood up and stretched. "I'm so tired. It's been a long day."

Alex nodded, suddenly realizing how exhausted he truly was. He really did just want some sleep. "Am I staying here tonight?"

"Yeah, I think you should."

Alex stood up as well and glanced down at his jeans. "Do I have any clothes here?"

Addison nodded. "I still have a pair of your track pants in the dresser. Third drawer on the right. And I," Addison beamed as she made her way over to the phone near her bed, "am going to order us some breakfast for tomorrow. What do you want?"

"Have I mentioned how much I love staying here?" Alex grinned, rooting through the specified drawer. He found the pants he was looking for, and also a black wife beater of his as well, and took them out. They smelt freshly washed, and he realized Addison probably had them sent out with her laundry. "Lets just get what we got last time, that was good."

Addison laughed. "Last time we ordered one of every breakfast item they had."

"Yeah, can't we just do that again?" Alex asked honestly.

Addison laughed. "Says the man constantly trying to convince me to move out of the Archduke."

"Well excuse _me_ for trying to look out for you," Alex replied. "Okay so this place is amazing. It still doesn't mean you should live here, all alone." Although, with service like this, he could understand why she would never want to move out.

"I'm a big girl Alex, I can take care of myself. Now shush, I'm ordering."

Alex smirked at Addison as she began to dial. He yanked his sweater over his head, revealing his bare chest to the corner of the room as he slipped on the black tank in his hands. He replaced his jeans with his favorite grey tracks and neatly folded his clothes, setting them down on a nearby chair. He wasn't a tidy person, and usually just left his clothes balled up in the corner of his room until he eventually ran out and had to force himself to do a load of laundry. But Addison's beautiful hotel room was so spotless, he always felt awkward leaving things a mess there.

Alex walked up to the head of the bed just as soon as Addison hung up the phone. "I also got us a wakeup call for 7. And the food will be here at 7:15," she said as she pulled back the covers on her side.

"Awesome," Alex grinned. "This is why I love staying here." He pulled back the covers and slid into the comfy king sized bed, relaxing as soon as his tired back hit the mattress.

Addison smiled and got into bed too. "Oh please. You just want to share a bed with me, admit it," she teased, flicking the light switch off beside her and veiling the room in darkness.

Alex smiled at Addie through the shadows. Even though he knew she was just teasing, she was sort of right. Alex really did like not having to go to bed alone, even if it was just for the purpose of sleeping. It felt good to have that physical closeness with someone. He felt Addison move closer to him, pressing herself under his chin as his arms automatically surrounded her.

"'Night Alex," she yawned, snuggling into his chest.

"'Night Ad…" Alex mumbled into her hair. But it was only moments later that exhaustion overtook both of their tired bodies and they drifted off into sleep.

* * *

So you may have thought the Addison/Alex friendship was a little OoC. I get where you're coming from, I do. But I honestly believe they could develop a friendship like that. Plus it works for the story, so yeah. ♥ Review Pleasssse.

**Next:** Izzie gets jealous, Derek gets pissed, and the Addison/Alex rumor mill explodes.


	2. Hype: Part 1

First things first: I am soooo sorry :( All your reviews were just LOVELY and made me so happy, and I am so so sorry for the lateness of this update. I'm a high school senior and I'm trying to get into university, so it's been hard to find the time to write. Thanks for not giving up on me. Your reviews were so nice so I stayed up late the past few nights to write this hee hee, so I hope you like. ♥

This chapter is turning out to be monstrously long, so I've decided to post it in two parts. So just remember this is only half the chapter, but I just wanted to get it out there since it's done.

Oh, and just so you guys know… this fic is AU, meaning Addison didn't abort Mark's baby, O'Callie isn't married, and Meredith didn't almost-drown in the bathtub. Anything that happened after episode 3.10 didn't happen in this fic. ♥

* * *

**Chapter Two:** Hype - Part 1

* * *

"IZZIE!"

The sound of her name being called from the back seat was enough to snap Isobel Stevens from her thoughts. Peeling her gaze away from the scenery moving past the car window, Izzie turned around to face her best friend, who was currently sitting in the back seat of Meredith's Jeep.

"What is it, George?"

"Can you _please_ switch the radio station? Mer won't," he pouted.

"Oh please," Meredith scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You know why I won't change it; you don't deserve to have it changed. So you can suffer through the country music as punishment."

George whined. "C'mon Mer! Its bad enough you have to emasculate me by sticking me in the back seat like some little kid, and now you're making me listen to Brooks and Dunn?"

"Did you get the tampons on the list?" Meredith challenged. She glared at George through the mirror, as he sat silently staring at his sneakers. "Did you?"

"…no," he finally mumbled.

"Good. So you can listen to my country and shut up about it. Because now we're late for work, since we had to stop and get some. So really, I couldn't care less how emasculated you feel right now, George," she spat, obviously beyond irritated about having to wake up to a tampon-less bathroom this morning.

Izzie chose this point in their conversation to try and tune out her roommates' bickering, and turned her attention back so her passenger window. She'd be lying if she said these last few months hadn't been hard on her, but she'd also learned so much about herself. But as for the past few weeks, she had just been doing a lot of thinking.

Denny was a great man, a wonderful man. And did she love him? Of course she did. But lately she had found herself wondering if Denny was still alive, if they would even still be a couple. Was it real, true love? She really had no idea anymore. All she knew for sure was that he was an amazing person who didn't deserve the fate he was dealt in life, and he made her happy. But they had only known each other for 3 weeks, and somehow she doubted she could fall in love with someone in such a short period of time.

"You can take the girrrrrlllll, from the honkey tonkkkkk, but you can't take the honkey tonk, out of the girl," Meredith bellowed loudly, in the most annoying, off-key pitch she could manage.

"You're such a bitch Meredith. You don't even like this song."

She'd also be lying if she said she said she didn't love Alex, too. Those few months before Denny, she had really fallen hard for him, despite how hard she tried to resist him. He was just so different from anyone she'd ever met. He had something special; a spark. Something that made her feel so alive when she was with him. She knew he was going to cheat on her before it even happened (that's what guys like Alex do, after all), but even though she had prepared herself for it, it still broke her heart. Seeing him with that slutty syph nurse shattered her, and she never really had gotten over it, but yet, Alex had once again managed to win her back with cute cupcakes and comfort sex. She hated herself for going back to him, but he was like her drug.

So when Denny came along, she really had jumped at the first chance she could to get away from Alex. She needed another guy, and excuse to stay away from him. And Denny, being Alex's polar opposite, was the best possible man for the job. He made her feel confident, smart, and truly beautiful, and she needed that so badly in her life.

George stuck his fingers in his ears and yelled, "Lalalalalaaaaa! I can't hear you!" as Meredith started singing even louder to compete with him.

They were so hard to compare, Denny and Alex. Denny was perfect for her; sweet, caring, considerate, the kind of guy she had always dreamed of marrying when playing with her Barbie and Ken dolls when she was a little girl. Then there was Alex, the kind of guy her mother had warned her against ending up with and she had known was wrong for her from the very start. Yet Alex was the one she could never seem to get out of her head. He was the one with absolute power over her emotions, the kind of power she had vowed to never let a man have.

She knew what she wanted now. She had mourned for Denny; he was a great man, but he wasn't coming back, and she had accepted that. But really, she had never stopped wanting the man she had always loved: Alex. She knew he wanted her too, or at least he had, as he had kissed her a few months back.

Except now, it was even more complicated. She had been hearing so many rumors flying around lately that him and Addison were dating, and even though many late night baking sessions and talks with George had quenched her fears somewhat, she still feared they were involved. They sure did spend a lot of time together, eating lunches and working together, and once she had even peeked over Alex's shoulder and seen him send her a text message.

"Will you two shut up?!" Izzie snapped, finally unable to tune the fighting out any longer.

"She started it," George pouted once again. Meredith shot him a warning glance through the mirror that he feared might actually kill him, and he stopped talking immediately.

"Hey," Meredith started, desperate to break the tension as she pulled into the parking lot of SGH, "isn't that Alex up ahead?"

Izzie craned her neck to watch Alex pull into the parking space in front of them. Oh, he was pretty, wearing the same kelly green IOWA hoodie he wore yesterday that she loved so much. She unashamedly ogled him for a few moments, not drawing her eyes away as Mer pulled the car past him, searching for the next available spot.

But as the angle shifted, a brief flash of red peeked out from behind Alex's head and caught Izzie's eye. As Mer pulled into the space, Alex stepped out of his car, but instead of heading towards the hospital, he walked around to the passenger door. As he opened it, two long, gorgeous white legs, black heels attached, stepped out onto the pavement. Reaching his hand inside the car, Izzie watched in horror as Alex helped Addison Montgomery to her feet.

"Ohhh, aren't we the gentleman?" Izzie heard Addison tease, pushing lightly against Alex's chest. He smirked at her, reaching out to point his electronic key at the car, pressing the button to lock it as they both turned to walk towards the hospital. Together.

Izzie watched them disappear, mouth hanging open a little in shock. Meredith winced, not sure what to do or say to comfort Izzie. Finally, George broke the silence.

"Um, is there any chance you didn't see that?"

Izzie ignored George, still just staring in shock at Alex's now-emptied car. They had driven to work together. Alex and Addison had driven in together.

* * *

"Maybe they _just_ drove in together? They are friends, you know. They work together. It's not so weird to car pool with employees. We do it," George offered.

"Exactly," Mer agreed, desperately attempting to quench Izzie's fears. "I don't think Addison has a car yet. Maybe she was just tired of taking a cab everyday?"

Izzie sat on the bench of the intern's locker room, feeling absolutely crushed. It was nice of George and Meredith to try and make her feel better, but they were her friends; that was their job, really. She knew in her heart the real reason they drove in together, and she needed honesty right now. She needed to hear it.

"Cristina, what do you think?" Izzie asked hesitantly.

"Honestly?" Cristina said, pausing for effect. "I think there's only one reason Alex Karev would offer to give a woman a ride anywhere, and that's if she's given _him_ a ride first, if you know what I mean." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively in an attempt to complete the innuendo.

Izzie sighed, running her fingers through her long bangs and ignoring the 'look' that she saw Meredith cast Cristina out of the corner of her eye. She'd waited too long; Alex had moved on.

Suddenly, Cristina and Meredith quieted their bickering as Alex himself walked through the door and approached his locker, swinging it open. Izzie briefly wondered what had taken him so long, since he had arrived at the hospital before they did, but quickly attempted to push those thoughts from her mind, realizing he was probably with _her_.

Noticing the sudden, eerie silence amongst the usually chatty women, and the fact that his fellow interns were staring intently at him, Alex popped his head through the hole of his scrub top, a little creeped out.

"What?!" he asked.

"Nothing," Meredith said, rather too quickly.

Alex cast one last glare at the group of interns before continuing to change, and Cristina moved them a bit farther away from his earshot.

"The same sweater he wore yesterday," Cristina whispered to Izzie. "Seriously, how can you guys even be questioning this?"

Meredith elbowed her lightly in the ribs. "We all do that sometimes. We're interns; we don't do laundry. It doesn't mean anything," she whispered back harshly.

"Whatever. You guys are seriously delusional; it's so painfully obvious that they're doing the nasty," she snorted.

"She's right," Izzie groaned.

"No, no she isn't," Meredith corrected. "We don't know that."

"Yes, yes I am," Cristina snapped, frustrated with Meredith's half-assed attempt at optimism. "I'll prove it." Before any of her fellow interns could stop her, Cristina called out to Alex.

"So, are you and Montgomery screwing or what?"

Alex, now fully changed, nearly choked on his coffee. "Wh– what?"

"Oh please, don't play dumb with me. We know you drove in together," Cristina continued.

Alex hitched in his breath. He immediately cast his gaze over Izzie, who was sitting on the bench, faced away from him, with her knees drawn close to her chest. Shit, Izzie knew? He had no idea what to say. Despite they fact that she'd moved on (she'd made that fact evidently clear), he still didn't want Izzie to think they were together. But it's not like they were going to believe he and Addison stayed up all night doing crossword puzzles. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he finally said, masking confidence as he turned away from Cristina and pretended to look interested at something imaginary inside of his locker.

Cristina rolled her eyes, prepared to snap back at him, but silenced by Bailey bursting through the door, ready to give out morning assignments. Izzie had always felt a strange sense of optimism when Bailey entered the locker room every morning in her characteristically robust fashion. Izzie had come to associate the morning assignments, the true start of her day, with all the life saving that would follow them. Today, however, had gotten off to a rotten start, and she couldn't ignore the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that it was just going to grow worse. But before Bailey even had a chance to unpurse her lips in speech, Addison peeked in meekly behind her.

"Doctor Bailey, I need an intern, if you don't mind," she said politely, still halfway outside the door. Izzie watched silently as Addison caught Alex's smile and they stared at each other, biting down painfully on her lip to stop herself from screaming.

"Alright. Karev, go," Bailey said, not looking up from the chart she was reading. Alex grinned, mouthing "yes!" as Addison just smiled goofily at him, pretending to be annoyed. Neither of them noticed Izzie's furious eye-rolling and gritted teeth, which just stood to infuriate her more.

Staring daggers at the happy 'couple', Izzie heard Cristina snort out a small, almost painful, laugh as soon as they exited.

"Something funny, Yang?" Bailey snapped.

"Not-- ha-- at all, Doctor Bailey," Cristina said, struggling to compose herself.

"Mmhm, well you're in the pit today, so laugh about that," Bailey smirked back.

Izzie hugged her knees even closer, listening to Bailey rattle off assignments. Oh great, she was with Sloane. So not only did she have the mental picture of Alex and Addison making googly-eyes at each other blazed into her brain, she also had to be a coffee girl all day. At least if she could practice _actual_ medicine, she'd have something to take her mind off the subject of her dismay.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

"Oh great, you again," Addison lightly teased, exiting the locker room with a click of her heels against the linoleum flooring.

"You love it," Alex announced proudly, walking a little faster from behind her in order to close the distance growing between them.

"Hmm, I do."

"What do we got today?"

"Twins via caesarian," Addison grinned. "Just a run-of-the-mill, ordinary surgery. Shouldn't take too long."

Reaching the nurses station at the end of the hall, Addison quickly located her patients chart from behind the desk. Flipping it open briefly to verify the name, more out of habit than anything, she replaced the metal cover, about to turn and leave when a warm cup of coffee inconspicuously slid its way across the desk to touch her hand.

Addison raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow upon noticing the cup, her eyes trailing upwards from it to the hand attached, and they halted upon meeting Mark's gaze. "I got you a coffee," he said hesitantly, attempting at an unsure smile. She gulped in response, desperately trying to read his facial expression. The fact that she never could tell what Mark was thinking was probably the most frightening part of their encounters. He wasn't safe, he wasn't easy; everything about him was so uncertain.

Upon noticing their eye-exchange, Alex took the opportunity to make himself scarce. "I'm just going to… yeah…" he trailed off, a slight smirk present on his lips as he reached over to retrieve the chart from a dumb-founded Addison. He began to make his way to their patient's room, leaving the two to talk.

Purposely distracting herself by staring at Alex's retreating form, Addison steadied to turn back to Mark. She usually needed a moment or two to gather her confidence before speaking to, or even looking at him at all, otherwise it would be impossible to maintain her professional demeanor in his presence.

"_Alex _already bought me a coffee," she quipped, resisting the urge to grab the cup currently warming her knuckles. Immediately, Mark's hopeful smile was replaced with a scowl.

"So what, you're with Karev now?" he seethed.

"I am not 'with Karev', Mark, and even if I was, it's none of your business."

"What you do with other men is my business, Addison."

"No, it's not, despite what you'd like to think," she snapped at him, "because in case you've forgotten, you are _not_ my boyfriend."

Mark cooled his temper slightly, realizing there were issues between them much more important than Karev or any other meaningless fling. He knew Addison wanted to be with him; he just didn't know how to get her to admit it. "I should be," he said, his eyes pleading. He reached out to grasp her hand in his, running his thumb gently over her knuckles.

She immediately felt a cool chill travel up her spine just at the very small contact their joined hands made. An attempt to avert her gaze from their touch led her to stare up at him instead. She immediately found herself getting lost in the depths of his eyes and she cursed herself for her mistake. God, she missed him. But she needed to snap out of this; she had promised herself she would be strong enough to resist him. Quickly, she drew her eyes to the floor, knowing she couldn't say what she was about to while looking into his. "Mark, we don't work. You know it and I know it. We just… we need to move on." She tore her hand away and shoved in into her labcoat, already missing the tangle of their fingers.

"That's not true, Addie," he replied, shaking his head, "there is nothing about us that doesn't work!" He threw his hands up, exasperated with her stubbornness. "I know you see it. I know you felt what I felt. I love you, Addison, and as much as you try and deny it, I know you love me too."

"Love? That's what you call cheating on me repeatedly back in New York, right? Love?" She couldn't let herself believe he loved her, not again. No matter how many times he said it, she couldn't shake the possibility that maybe he just wanted to love her in order to find justification for what he did to Derek. That maybe if Mark believed he loved her, then it was worth ruining his lifelong friendship for.

Mark bowed his head in shame, trying to explain actions that still didn't make sense to him. What was he supposed to say? That sex was just 'what he did'? Some people go out and get drunk when they're upset, others cry, but Mark? He used sex as his coping method. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for that, Addison. But… I didn't know what to do anymore. When Derek left, so did you Addie! At least the 'you' I feel in love with," he moved closer to her, touching their knees and forcing her to look up at him once more. "Everything changed after he found out about us; we were both wrecks. We weren't the same Addison and Mark we were all those months before he left for Seattle. Before it became… real. I didn't handle it well, okay? But baby, I'm sorry. This whole charade is ridiculous. We both know we're going to end up back together."

She shook her head violently. "No Mark, we're not going to end up together. What happened between us was a mistake," she said, hoping if she repeated it to him enough times she'd begin to believe it herself.

"Don't say that Addison, don't you dare say that," he said, clenching his fists inside his coat. Hearing what they had, everything they had been though, being called a mistake was too much. Addison was the only thing right in his life; the only thing that seemed to make sense, and it couldn't be a mistake.

"I'm sorry Mark," she murmured to the floor, searching her brain for the reasons she had so perfectly calculated the previous night. Her reasons for not being with Mark: umm, what were they again? They always seemed to make so much sense, out of context. But standing here, right in front of him, nothing seemed important enough to keep them apart.

He whipped his face away, not wanting her to see the visible hurt that had momentarily crossed over, before he turned back to her. She was ending this; she was really ending this. "Did you ever stop to think about the fact that Derek didn't just leave _you_?" he snapped at her, unable to control his bubbling-over temper any longer. "He also left me, Addison. He was my best friend, my family! The only person I could depend on since I was six years old! And I gave up all that up for you, because I _am_ in love with you. You can refuse to believe it all you want, but it's true. I'm not trying to say this to make you feel guilty, because I don't regret what happened. I'd do it all again in a second, even if I did loose my best friend. But don't you dare say what we had was a mistake! Don't say that I don't love you, because in case you haven't noticed, I've given up everything I have for you! I know you love me too, Addie. I know that year we spent together in New York, before Derek and Seattle and any of this, that you loved me. All _you_ have to do is admit it."

Addison gulped hard as Mark broke their eye contact and turned away, leaving her and the coffee behind. She remained standing for a moment, struggling to will away tears now threatening to fall as her mind flashed back to memories of Mark and her in New York, only a year ago. The logical portion of Addison's brain screamed that it was repulsive of her to be happy about how much she loved Mark while still married to another man, but there it was. That year they had spent together, albeit behind Derek's back, was among the happiest of her life. Despite the cheating, divorce, and pain associated with him, one fact remained true: she loved Mark Sloane.

Reaching across the desk, she picked up the little cup of coffee he had gotten for her and sipped it, allowing the warm liquid to burn the back of her throat. In a strange way, it made her feel closer to him, and she cradled it between her hands. It had just become painfully obvious that she had run out of reasons why love wasn't enough in this case, and she wondered just how much longer she would be able to torture herself before she finally gave in.

* * *

♥♥♥ Thanks, please review.

Next: Alex succesfully attempts to piss Derek off, but he's not the only one...


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